Southgate Compton Cricket Club

Player Profiles

Old player profiles available here

Alex Heaney	Nicknames:	Halex, Albert.
	Fave shot:	Slog anywhere.
	Fave drink:	Smirnoff Ice (once drank 211 in 13 minutes).
	Fave food:	Curry (hotter the better).
	Al has been 1st team captain for 5 seasons now, but has only been sober for about 7 games. He joined the club as a colt back in the days when he could bat bowl and field... now on a good day he can... well... er... er... oh, he's still got a good arm!!! Capable of taking any attack apart but seems to get an unplayable ball that pitches in, swings away, hits something else, before removing all three stumps. Al spends his days training people in a gym (to do what exactly?) and is currently in training for the 2010 world's strongest man competition; he is still the only person on the planet to have lifted up Howard and live! After years of trying, Al scored his first league ton in 2007 (though not as good as Flopo's hehe) and still holds the record for the best league catch and worst league bowling (4-1-42-1) and is also the worst tosser since Edward Scissorhands. The only way in the world you can upset the skip is by telling him that the bar is all out of Smirnoff Ice... well I ain't gonna tell him!!!

Steve Fahey	Nicknames:	Squirrel, Big Gay Steve.
	Fave shot:	4 or 6.
	Fave drink:	The one someone else buys!
	Fave food:	Anything cooked by someone else.
	Another one of the colts to come through to the 1st team, Steve is the only player who spends longer doing his hair than he does in the middle batting. Secretly his hair is the most important thing to him in the world; he even carries a picture of it in his wallet!!! Steve is in the Guinness book of records for owning more cardigans than Ken Barlow! Being the most talented batsman in the side, his scores are still to reflect this, but his day will come. His bowling always claims victims as well, but these are normally the square leg umpire and any wicket keeper who is behind the stumps. Steve's also the worlds most clumsy person and is currently the only person in history to burn a boiled egg! So this is what the ladies look for these days is it!!!

Dave Nicholls	Nickname:	Flopo (very original).
	Fave shot:	A nice pull, thank you!
	Fave drink:	Purple Beer.
	Fave food:	Curry (but not Al's).
	Flopo joined in 1993 and hasn't stopped moaning since. He has somehow blagged his way into the 1st XI for the last 15 season without anyone actually realizing he is rubbish... or have they??? Still keeping for the ones these days and moaning to anyone who will listen about how far he comes to play, how bad his knees are or one of his infamous rants about that bloody Winehouse women. But if you are really nice to him, he will tell you all about his hundred. Also the best looking guy in the team and a fashion god!!!

Liam Frame	Nicknames:	Spanky, Leroy, Dangerous.
	Fave shot:	Doesn't matter, as long as it's in the MCC coaching manual.
	Fave drink:	Girly top.
	Fave food:	Anything with tomato sauce & mayo.
	Our very own Mr. Cricket, who spends so much time on cricinfo he can actually tell you the shoe size of all the 1937 Australian ashes touring party. Liam has come on leaps and bounds over the last few years, mainly down to his weekly anger management classes, but the odd lapse is still there; he was recently seen chasing an umpire down Cockfosters Road with a spear after having an lbw appeal turned down. In 2007 he was in inspired form, taking 60 league wickets and getting his maiden league hundred, and early in 2008 took 4 in 4 in a league game. Leroy and the booze don't always mix so well, as was the case at the Lords test match in 2006, where in one remarkable day he fell down a step of no more than 2 inches high, chased after Middlesex legend & MCC coach Clive Radley - because "he might be able to help me with my batting" - and didn't return for 20 minutes, he then copped off with a lamppost out side the ground and famously peed next to Chris Evans and came out complaining that he never looked "down" at him. That's youth for ya!!!

Aaron Shah	Nickname:	Normy.
	Fave shot:	The off side slam, with added power stance!
	Fave drink:	Beers a plenty.
	Fave food:	Hot curry... and I mean a hot curry!
	Norm is more or less a part of the furniture, having been at the club since the days they used to share the ground with a Stegosaurus or 2. Norm was a very prolific batsman in his "youth" in his native Ireland (Norm was once out in a match in Ireland 3rd ball of the innings for 12!!!) and then as Phil Marridge's protégée (how on earth is this bloke still alive) in his early days in London. But after a few years away making canoe's out of dead animals (it's true), he was tempted back and has been a key member of the 1st XI ever since. Another one of the handful of intelligent beings in the ones, as Norm can actually spell fizzicks. Along with the skipper, Norm is king of the hot curry - I dare anyone to try a mouthful of Norm's Indian dish of choice and keep a straight face, I can tell you from experience, that it's hotter than Scarlett Johansson stretched out on a bed with only whipped cream covering her fun bits!!!!!! Normy capped off his return in 2007 when he won the 1st XI batting trophy and looks like someone half his age in the field. A true club legend.

Dave Anderson	Nicknames:	Matrix, the Specialist.
	Fave shot:	Put it this way, it ain't a tip and run single... think bigger!
	Fave drink:	Beer and Smirnoff... at the same time!!!
	Fave food:	Curry (but not as hot as Norm's or Al's).
	Matrix joined the club in the early 90's, but stopped due to being on the run from Interpol because of a misunderstanding over some stolen cabbages at Arsene Wenger's house. However, he returned in the early part of the century and famously scored a hundred in the twos, in near darkness, a year after his return. He once famously beat up 16 cowboys in a bar when he overheard that they all hated spurs... it was only later that he found out it was the spurs on the back of their cowboy boots that they hated and not his beloved football team!!! Matrix is the only person to get more injuries on a Saturday than runs. A real team player who gives his all and is normally the poor sod who has to listen to Flopo's moaning the most. 2008 has seen Matrix develop an off side shot to go with his one leg shot, but these two shots go further than most people go on their holidays!!!

Alex Owen	Nicknames:	Spaceman, the Spaniard, Elvis.
	Fave shot:	Any one of his balls that doesn't go for a boundary!
	Fave drink:	Fosters, boss!
	Fave food:	King... Prawn... Puree!!!
	Al joined the club 7-8 years ago as a spinner with potential. Now, 7-8 years later, we find out he is potentially a spinner!!! To say spaceman is a unique individual is the understatement of a lifetime. He's the only spinner in the world whose main wicket taking ball is a full toss, but it's his famous comments on and off the field that make Saturdays, well er... Saturdays. Once he asked if we could have hot towels at the drinks breaks! Most famous of all was a couple of seasons ago, when Space was overheard saying "well the bowlers have done there job, its now up to the batsmen", it was just a shame the bowlers had been hit for 258 in 50 overs, a record score against us in a league match!!!!!! There are far too many of these comments to mention but all are true classics. Over the last couple of years space has been taking on a transformation and has been slowly turning Spanish due to his wife's insistence. He is so Spanish now that they have 16 stray dogs and 12 men with moustaches called Paco living in their little flat. Space, you really are the king of kings!

Richard Fahey	Nickname:	Frank.
	Fave shot:	The one handed forward defence.
	Fave drink:	Beer.
	Fave food:	Has never eaten a meal in his life.
	Rich has been opening the batting for the first team for the last couple of years and has improved immensely in that time. He's still a rubbish fielder though, but this may have something to do with his facial hair restricting his vision. Also, Rich wears jeans which are tighter than his brother's, and trust me, that's saying something! Big things should be seen from Rich in the next few seasons, but I do hope these don't pass him by, because, if sleeping was an Olympic event, "Frank" would be champion of the world. And it's little known that Rich holds a world record of 4 days & 15 mins for putting his pads on!!! To say he is slow is the understatement of all time!

Carl Frame	Nicknames:	Moon, Carlos, Growl.
	Fave shot:	He's just happy to get to bat!
	Fave drink:	Baby milk.
	Fave food:	Rusks.
	Carl is the junior of the team and has been opening the bowling for the last couple of seasons. He took his first league 5 wicket haul in 2007 and like Rich has come on leaps and bounds, and all this before his 10th birthday! At his age, Carl is still learning the game and will be a key player with bat and ball for many years (we hope). Not much is known about Carl's private life, apart from the fact he sleeps in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bedspread and that he has seen High School Musical at least 38 times.

Mark Willis	Nickname:	Willo.
	Fave shot:	Anything that does not involve running.
	Fave drink:	Drink.
	Fave food:	Food.
	Willo is a rarity amongst the 1st XI, in that he is actually intelligent (even though he reads the sun). Willo has been a fixture in the 1st XI for a number of years, bowling his left arm medium pace and countless times adding valuable runs when the top order superstars have failed. But Willow's main passion in life, yes even ahead of his family, is food, in any shape or form. Only the skipper can compete with his intake at the Hare and Hounds on the annual tour, but not when it comes to the legendary toffee temptation dessert. Willow also works part time for Norwich Union, but even then nothing gets in the way of a brisk 18 holes round an assortment of golf courses in the south - but now limits this to only playing the courses that do a great fry up in the clubhouse. Sorry, I've made a mistake at the top, I said he was intelligent, but he can't be, he supports Spurs. A true clubman who just gets on with it come what may. A captain's dream!